dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
