when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
