Dual....:-)
I wish I only lived at night.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
