Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
