Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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