I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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