My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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