proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
