he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
