Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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