my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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