what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My liver just had a heart attack.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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