On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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