he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
