In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize