We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
