How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
