TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize