Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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