she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
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My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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