guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
