I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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