just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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