I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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