My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She bit a glass in half.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
