Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize