BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
