So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
