watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
