so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize