Jerry, you need to find god
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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