What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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