Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
