Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she peed on how many people?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
