Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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