I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
