At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think my vagina is haunted
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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