were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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