yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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