I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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