shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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