he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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