Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
