I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
