didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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