I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
