as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
