you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
worst night to have a conscience
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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