Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
