i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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