I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
babies were throwing up all over the place
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
