i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
