Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
