I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
