So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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