Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
