i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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