My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
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I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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