Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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